Tying the Knot - Handfasting

What is a Handfasting?

When I was training to be a celebrant, I conducted a lot of research into symbolic rituals that could be introduced into a wedding ceremony. My initial reaction to a handfasting wasn’t very dynamic at all, in fact I remember saying to my wife, that I wouldn’t go to deep into learning about it, or it’s origins, as it’s highly unlikely that I would ever perform one. I couldn’t have been more wrong! It was during the marketing phase of my learning that I realised that my ideal couples and the ceremonies I wanted to conduct, were definitely orientated towards the boho scene and rustic, barn weddings and outdoor locations. The reasons behind that can be explored in one of my other blog, ‘The Lakeside at Moor End and Why I enjoy Rustic/Outdoor Weddings.’ I realised then that crafting a simple handfasting into one of my scripts could provide that beautiful extra bit of ‘special’ into a couple’s day.

So, I have said all of the above without actually telling you what a handfasting actually is… it’s the binding of a couple’s hands/wrists with cords or ribbons to symbolise the binding of two lives and two souls. It’s a beautiful ceremony within a ceremony and an ideal opportunity for the exchanging of additional vows.

Handfasting Origins

Its foundations are actually unknown and may have overarching significance in many cultures. However, the commonly practiced modern handfasting is accepted as originating from a Celtic tradition, which may date back as far as 7000 B.C. It was treated as the engagement period lasting a year and a day, whereby, as a sign of unity, cords or torn cloth from old garments, bound the wrists of couples who chose to be married. At the conclusion of the twelve months, they would either declare their intent to marry, in which case the handfasting would have been considered their wedding, or the couple would part ways as being incompatible. Within Pagan and Wiccan cultures, a handfasting makes up the entire wedding ceremony, which is conducted by a High Priest or Priestess and is a vow of love, honour and respect for your partner.

Handfasting – Cord/Ribbon Colours & Meanings

Handfasting embraces symbolism, but is a very fluid ritual. There are no hard and fast rules with regards to the colour of the ribbons or cords or even the number of them to use. Couples will choose their ribbon colours due to their symbolic meanings or just because they match the colour scheme for their special day. Even the colour meanings are varied, depending where you are in the world. Here is a combination of symbolic meanings for colours that I have collated from various locations:

Red – Passion, strength, lust, fertility, love, will, courage, health and vigour.

Orange – Encouragement, attraction, kindness, plenty, adaptability and stimulation.

Yellow – Charm, confidence, joy, balance and harmony.

Green – Finances, fertility, charity, prosperity, health, luck, nurturing, beauty and love.

Blue – Tranquillity, patience, devotion, sincerity, safe journey, longevity and strength.

Purple – Power, piety, sanctity, sentimentality, healing, health and progress.

White – Purity, concentration, meditation, peace, truth and devotion.

Grey – Neutrality, cancelling, balance, neutralising used in erasing, return to the universe without

             repercussion.

Pink – Unity, honour, truth, romance and happiness.

Brown – Earth, grounding, talent, telepathy, home, healing and nurturing.

Silver – treasures, values, creativity, inspiration, vision and protection.

Gold – Energy, wealth, intelligence, longevity, unity, prosperity and strength.

I can order you personalised ribbons for your day!

How Does a Handfasting Ceremony Work?

Handfastings are best suited either before, during or after the exchanging of vows. As an independent celebrant, I would lay each cord or ribbon over the couple’s joined hands providing meaningful words as an explanation of the symbolic gestures it represents. Wrapping the ribbons around their hands I would form a knot over the top, giving each of the ends to the couple to hold. This is a lovely time for the couple to exchange their wedding vows or words of commitment. The itself can be just as symbolic. Personally, I like to form the infinity knot, as a sign of eternity. The final stage is to have the couple slowly pull each of the ends that they’re holding whereby they literally ‘Tie the Knot’ and where the term originates. For the remainder of the day the ribbons can be laid along the top table and it makes a wonderful keepsake of the special day.